To Much Time To Think

I have the luxury of time, I know! Others work hard to put food on their table, care for children and family, and want a worry-free night of sleep, especially as our Covid-19 world has increased cases and deaths across our nation. And yet so it is, I do spend much of my time thinking. Here are a few of my latest thoughts.

There was a time the “C” word created anxiety, but in 2020, which “C” word are we referring to? Family and friends diagnosed with breast cancer or ovarian cancer, surviving radiation and/or chemotherapy, do have cancer and a “C” worthy of worry. Covid-19 or coronavirus is another “C” word within our latest struggle causing us to evaluate inpatient and outpatient medical care along with prioritization of services. Another “C” word is the common cold, or is what I have a cold or not? Recently I convinced myself to contact my doctor for advice on why I was feeling as I did. I wanted my doctor caring for the other “C”- diagnosed patients before me as I was sure I would survive given time. After two video-conferenced appointments with my doctor, prescribed medication, and a 2 week period for whatever in my body to run its course, I am fine. I wish for all others to be so fortunate too.

I’m not a therapist, psychoanalyst or medical professional, but I do listen to what you say when you tell me your safety-conscious bubble continues to bump into areas of stress. I know you weren’t always judgmental. Once differing opinions lead to dynamic conversations, but now you cannot be sure if it is safe to speak your mind. Your workplace once encouraged  camaraderie and teamwork, but now some employees practice current safety protocols versus others who do not. Conflict ensues, your workplace has fundamentally changed and feels different. I know we are all tired of the varying levels of quarantine, virtual learning and communicating, but what is the alternative? We do need to make our well-being the priority or we will have no people to return to the world when the virus has run its course. Remember, patience is a virtue!

Truth be told as always, patience is wearing thin with me. I cancelled my fifth trip for this year! I worked my entire career to save money and travel, and now as a retiree, I live to travel. This year has been a bust, a huge disappointment. When I cannot even drive across the state border and enjoy time without worry of the virus, it is a frustrating time! I continue to do my part in masking up and staying physically distant so you and I are healthy. I have great empathy for those who are struggling economically, medically and spiritually. I want lives to be whole again. 2021, a vaccine, and respect toward each other may help us achieve a better tomorrow so we all can move on with and in life.

Finally, on-line games seem to be one thing people always tell me they play to distract themselves from their depression. I decided to check out “Wordscapes”. It is a free, on-line game. I was determined to not put one penny into it. My goal was to play till I could not. This was an interesting experience. After each game there is an advertisement of another game or a product. It is no wonder people are clicking all over their devices to check out items. I did not; I played the game. My last two games though I did watch additional videos, since I did not want to answer research questions or do a survey, to gain clues to finish those games. I am tired of watching any advertisement whether photo or video, so I am done with this game! Overall though, it was an interesting experience. Now I understand how and why people look to these activities for distraction as they are a huge time sink and your next day is here before you know it!

Those have been a few of my latest thoughts… or more simply said …. 2020, be gone!